Image: Sadly in Quiet Moments (here)
the 5 charms:
grey life, dim accuracy, pale heat,
consumed moon, spiritual songs
much into the unknown
a young heart in emotional reflection
clawing in the shadows of misty blues
questioning the grey life looming
in dim accuracy in measured intense
perplexed in a confused state
of what the future holds
a physical structure of bodily charms
waiting to share blessed moments of love
yet in the pale heat of a consumed moon
a perfect specimen of Adonis
lay crumpled and contorted
where is the lovely maiden?
lost in muted silence
lying prone under the covers
asking in nebulous intent
will spiritual songs help?
Laura's at d'Verse Poetics in
- the Charms of Samuel Greenberg
I love the poignancy here and these lines are figurative imagery gold:
ReplyDelete"a perfect specimen of Adonis
lay crumpled and contorted
where is the lovely maiden?"
A perfect verse on its own that could stand strong as perhaps a haiku or micro-poem. A very beautiful and solemn piece, Hank. This is lovely as it looks to reflection of before and ahead of what the future can hold. Is the future exciting or dull? Is it what we want it to be? Great thoughts here.
Thanks Lucy, Ma'am. Very incisive! Love the care and passion in your comments. And it has always been that way, it never varies!
DeleteHank, You did an excellent job with this one! The last verse is my favorite. Will spiritual songs help? I hope so. Also, this part really strikes a chord in me.
ReplyDeleteclawing in the shadows of misty blues
questioning the grey life looming
Strong longings in this, Hank, and the questions are plaintive.
ReplyDeleteFrom reading this I get a sense that things were already stacked up with difficulty and now with the pandemic more layers have been added. I feel the sadness and yearning acutely in your words.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful yet emotional verse, so thought provoking Hank.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
Yvonne.
Tremendous, I find the last stanza particularly memorable:
ReplyDelete'lost in muted silence
lying prone under the covers
asking in nebulous intent
will spiritual songs help?'
Nebulous intent... I shall remember that phrase, wonderful.
I really liked your poem Hank and the use of Greenberg's charms very subtly woven in to the lines especially
ReplyDelete"clawing in the shadows of misty blues
questioning the grey life looming
in dim accuracy in measured intense"
I love how you weaved the charm into a story of longing... separations are way too common these days.
ReplyDeleteI like especially the last verse--such yearning.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely stunning, Hank! Especially love; "yet in the pale heat of a consumed moon/a perfect specimen of Adonis lay crumpled and contorted/where is the lovely maiden?"💝
ReplyDeleteWaiting game it could be
ReplyDelete