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Image sourced through Wikimedia Commons (here)
Moving in circles
That probably what happened
At some points of time
But where one should start
Events seemed to move too fast
Rickety bones ached
Senior citizens
Stricken with physical strains
Unduly worried
Trying times ahead
Choices were limited where
minders were unkind
Written for Fred, hosting at d'Verse's Poetics with prompt -self portrait-
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First with my burst
ReplyDeleteAnd ugg to such a thirst
As the older ones gets is seems
The more no pains or aches are pipe dreams
the cat slunk in before i could get here...maybe i am already moving a little slowly in my age...smiles....my time will come for sure....and i hope i go into it gently...
ReplyDeleteSad but true, Hank, to think of minders being unkind. It's a few years now since I lost my parents, but I'd give anything to have them back. I've finally stopped thinking, "I should phone Mom to tell her about that" so I know the pain is lessening. I also know I'm the eldest in my generation now. A rather scary thought.
ReplyDeleteK
Moving in circles? Never thought of something like this, its catchy.
ReplyDelete"But where one should start
Events seemed to move too fast
Rickety bones ached."
Pretty good lines there.
Very cool = actually seems to move in circles at the beginning in accordance with what you describe. k .
ReplyDeletenicely done. Really an excellent self-portrait but one that also reveals the course of life, the notion you brought early with the circles, not only indicates this, but also sets up an image of movement, which you then follow very nicely with word choices like trying, rickety, stricken and strains. Excellently penned. Thanks
ReplyDeleteMoving in circles ... great poetry !!!
ReplyDeleteAging is difficult anyway, even more so if others don't treat us with love and caring, and, sadly it happens all too frequently too.
ReplyDeleteVery gentle, and compassionate write Hank.
A lot of truthness here. I make my life simple so the worries that may come my way when the time comes, hopefully, will be easy...
ReplyDeletePareng JJ
There feels like there's a kind of determination here, despite fragility. It's a very touching piece.
ReplyDeleteThe symbolism here is interesting. It makes the piece paradoxical. You're using the aging process as a means of self expression along side the circle. The circle has no beginning or end. Yet old age represents the end of youth. It's cool.
ReplyDeleteSocieties are defined by how they treat their elderly. And children.
ReplyDeleteAnd soul ever-traveling and young on the joyful journey of infinity.
really made me think, this poem.
xoxo
An excellent piece; poignant and thought-provoking.
ReplyDeleteAging with unkind minders - a tough situation to be in
ReplyDeleteI hope I will grow old gracefully with still many choices ~
I like the sound of rickety and stricken... I agree that time goes by faster with age.
ReplyDeleteI hope when I grow old enough I won't have to deal with unkind minders. Nice poem.
ReplyDeleteThe truth here too. Clever use of language regarding an inevitable situation. Kindness and caring is needed at all stages of life. Kudos for the fine poem.
ReplyDeleteThis makes reality skip toward us.
ReplyDeleteThe thought of the unkindness you call out was emotionally stirring. It's horrible when society doesn't value the contributions of its elderly citizens. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI have seen people be unkind to senior citizens too. I remember one time when I was crossing a parking lot with my mother who was 'older' and blind. Someone honked their horn, as we were walking too slow. I shouted out to that person, "You too will be old someday!"
ReplyDeleteOh, how sad!
ReplyDeleteLife is a circle and we meet the beginning. Needing minders at the start and finish. Just emphasizes how much we need each other and that a little kindness goes a long way.
ReplyDeleteThis is a sad truth, Hank. For too many of us we begin and end in childhhood.
ReplyDeleteI do not understand being unkind...ever! This was so sad, but true~ Thank you for saying how it is!
ReplyDeletemy mom is 85 now and there are days that her age is a hard burden...on others she smiles..i think it helps to have people around that care..still not easy..
ReplyDeleteSomehow I feel this is not a self-portrait.
ReplyDeleteThat's true! As I had explained to Fred earlier (extract below) I take it as a 'self portrait' but of a generation.
Deletekaykuala said: October 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Hi Fred, I had at first thought of writing a self portrait based on what I saw of myself. But after writing a while I thought not much I could add on to. Then I decided it would be a self portrait of the generation rather than of a person. So it was a depiction of a senior citizen with all the implications. Thanks for hosting!
Hank
Trying times indeed. You convey the situation well. Good write.
ReplyDeleteTrying times indeed..
ReplyDeleteMore of us about and more of us to come. Can't wait to see the rock and roll generation taking on the care system!
ReplyDeleteWell done Hank. Yes, as a generation there is much that awaits us.
ReplyDeleteThe little thought to the elderly. Nice.
ReplyDeleteThey say you should judge a society by the way it treats its animals. I say you should judge a society by the way it treats its animals and elderly people. By this criterion our society is savage and barbaric.I'm sure a chipper chappie like yourself has a long way to go yet.
ReplyDeleteWell done. A difficult subject and you managed to avoid sentimentality. The circularity of the poem worked well.
ReplyDelete