Thursday, January 28, 2021

Only a minute ago. Things were riotous

                                                                                                             Author: W.carter
Image: Waiting for the next move (here)

He came home. Said nothing  -  Wislawa Szymborska - Going Home

He came home. Said nothing.
What now. You could hear a pin drop
All quiet. All of a sudden
No one moved. There were three of them
Now there were four

Only a minute ago. Things were riotous
They were sitting. They were reminiscing
They just came from the airport. Lucy on tow
The two friends Tom and Jane braved the rain
The three meeting again. It had been four years

Jack stood transfixed. Not expecting visitors
They were all not strangers. Still, Jack was mum

A quizzical look sported. Still not a word
Tom his house-mate had not informed him
He was not forewarned. Why this gathering

He was still wondering. His mind muddled

It was a boys' night out. A lot of boozing
His head was spinning. He had forgotten the occasion

Surprise, Happy birthday Jack! 

Peter at d'Verse MTB - opening lines..beginnings


  1. Szymborska's line is wonderful isn't it? And you've used it so well as a springboard into this charming piece. I like how you've kept the sense of muddle and rising confusion going right to the last. Bravo.

  2. I love this ... and the surprise ending!!

  3. This Hank is wonderful to read, Thanks for sharing this with us.


  4. Nice tale of drunken confusion with a happy ending!

  5. Nicely done! I thought you were describing the capitol riots at first! Great closure and ending.

  6. Sometimes birthday surprises strike the "victim" speechless! Fun write.

  7. You drew this out just right, Hank. I wasn't expecting that ending either!

  8. This is exquisitely woven, Hank! I admire how skillfully you have incorporated Szymborska's line 💝💝

  9. The joy and shock of a surprise party! Only was thrown one Hank, but I was honored. Enjoyable read!

  10. I really love how you pulled me in with that first line, and then in the end that nice surprise.