Thursday, February 11, 2016

Bidding for just a fleeting glimpse

                                                                                            Attribution: Tony Webster 
Image: Twinkling Stars just After Sunset (here)

 Twinkling stars above of night's warmth
Bidding for just a fleeting glimpse
Time stood still his return turned dim
There she was whining all forlorn

Never in her thoughts she would dream
Sitting under the swaying fronds
Twinkling stars above of night's warmth
Bidding for just a fleeting glimpse

When missing her beau so profound
Alone stifling the loudest screams
And not anywhere on the brink
But now by herself she had sworn
Twinkling stars above of night's warmth

Note: For the fun of it Hank maintained 
an 8-syllable count throughout

For Gayle's at d'Verse MTB  -  the rondel
Posted by at

15 comments:

  1. BodhiroseFebruary 11, 2016 at 8:02 PM

    I can feel the strong despair here, Hank. Your repeating refrain "Bidding for just a fleeting glimpse" drives home the loneliness. I like that you took up the challenge of 8 syllables, well done!

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  2. De JacksonFebruary 11, 2016 at 8:09 PM

    Such loneliness here, and yet the word "twinkling" brings a glimmer of hope.

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  3. Kathy ReedFebruary 11, 2016 at 10:08 PM

    I agree with Gayle and De...there is a balance of sorts in this poem and 8 syllables helps.

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  4. brudbergFebruary 12, 2016 at 12:28 AM

    Somehow loneliness is stronger when all around there is beauty and no-one to share it with.

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  5. nashvillecats2February 12, 2016 at 3:09 AM

    I can relate to loneliness only to well Hank.
    Wonderful write.
    Yvonne.

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  6. Rosemary Nissen-WadeFebruary 12, 2016 at 3:25 AM

    You've used the form beautifully; very expressive.

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  7. Sanaa RizviFebruary 12, 2016 at 4:36 AM

    Such a wonderfully expressive Rondel :D

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  8. GraceFebruary 12, 2016 at 4:54 AM

    The angst of waiting for the beau ~ At least she can get a glimpse of the twinkling stars ~

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  9. MaryFebruary 12, 2016 at 5:55 AM

    I can feel the yearning in these stanzas, Hank! The twinkling stars create a wonderful atmosphere.

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  10. Carol CampbellFebruary 12, 2016 at 6:10 AM

    The feeling of strong isolation is felt here. Very good!

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  11. Pat HattFebruary 12, 2016 at 6:37 AM

    The feeling of being alone with beauty can sure drive some to sadness

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  12. Sumana RoyFebruary 12, 2016 at 9:16 AM

    twinkling stars, night's warmth and her loneliness make it all the more sad...a beautiful Rondel Hank...

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  13. lillianthehomepoet.wordpress.comFebruary 13, 2016 at 6:55 AM

    The loneliness is palpable in your words.
    I like the idea of twinkling stars -- that their twinkle is their way of trying to get a fleeting glimpse of the earth. Beautiful!

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  14. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2016 at 12:31 PM

    I like how you describe that feeling of truly missing someone, of the faint hope within that sense of loneliness.

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  15. Katie Mia FrederickFebruary 17, 2016 at 9:59 AM

    Living next to each
    otHeR UniVerse
    aWay.. UniVerse
    so cold iN dArk..
    so wArm iN
    heArts liGht..
    LiGht first
    Truth
    neXt..
    Love over
    WiSdom flYs
    aS oNe.. N0W..:)

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