Sunday, September 2, 2012

A Rebel

(just a fictitious/fictional dialogue)

 Yeah!
Whassup?
Ain’t no good
Failed us again!
But it is so against what I stand for
Look! You either shape up or you ship out
No! You make me
Get him out!
Teach him!
Punk!

Note: Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count 
I’ve chosen to write a Double Tetractys of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1

Written for Stu's Poetics: The Art of Rebellion at d'Verse and Poets United's Poetry Pantry #113


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14 comments:

  1. ClaudiaSeptember 2, 2012 at 2:15 AM

    oh dang - everyone's talking about how good diversity is and how important and enriching different views on life are...but practically all too often it's fought and not tolerated...sad

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  2. Gemma WisemanSeptember 2, 2012 at 3:13 AM

    Heaps of dramatic grunt in this poem! The ideas so suit the form and the form suits the ideas!

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  3. MarySeptember 2, 2012 at 3:19 AM

    Strong words, Hank. Strong poem. I felt this one down deep.

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  4. Dave KingSeptember 2, 2012 at 3:22 AM

    So who won in the end? (Not that it matters.)

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  5. AnonymousSeptember 2, 2012 at 4:38 AM

    GREAT form...love it...its funny isn't it...how we always kill the people who challenge... like the punk in this poem.....i guess by shutting people up, it keeps things niiiicceee and normal....no thought needed....this was VERY cool- thank you for writing and sharing

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  6. Brian MillerSeptember 2, 2012 at 4:39 AM

    nice tight little verse hank, capturing just the essence of the scene and letting us fill in the rest....feels familiar.....

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  7. Rosemary Nissen-WadeSeptember 2, 2012 at 5:07 AM

    Well done!

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  8. DaydreamertooSeptember 2, 2012 at 5:10 AM

    Oh definitely a rebel! Shape up or ship out... seen and said that before...lol

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  9. ScarletSeptember 2, 2012 at 6:55 AM

    The sad truth of life, shape up or ship out ~ I like the brevity of the form ~

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  10. Laurie KolpSeptember 2, 2012 at 7:58 AM

    Reminds me of the military...

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  11. Pat HattSeptember 2, 2012 at 9:11 AM

    haha make me is words all used once in a while
    Like the back and forth style

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  12. Magical Mystical TeacherSeptember 2, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    I admire your tenacity in adhering to the form!

    Whirling with Jane Kenyon

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  13. Audrey Howitt aka DivaloungerSeptember 2, 2012 at 9:56 AM

    Nicely done! I don't know if I could have done this--

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  14. Myrna R.September 2, 2012 at 10:00 AM

    I really like what you wrote and that you followed a particular form. The dialogue is short, but does convey that conflict is too often the center of communication.

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