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Innocence shredded
Petrified of his shadows
Pangs of loneliness
Affected her health
Hair disheveled dress crumpled
His memory lingered
Winsome beau revered
Marauding thoughts ran wildly
Struck a vital chord
Guilt pervaded her mind
If only she brought herself
out of the abyss
She would overcome
Her resolve was determined
No more self pity
A really effective set of verses!
ReplyDeleteThe struggle is mighty and so impossible all alone. The last stanza can happen if she reaches out. Made me hope she does.
ReplyDeleteI'm always so impressed with a poem built out of haiku.
ReplyDeleteI can relate with that...too close to home sometimes...
ReplyDeleteits so well written......
ReplyDeleteThe stanzas merge well together !!!
ReplyDeleteThese work either individually or as a whole.
ReplyDeleteSelf-pity can be a murderous weapon! Delightful set of haiku!
ReplyDeleteat some point you have to draw that line in the sand and break out...its not always easy...but it does take intention
ReplyDeleteI am glad she was determined to leave the abyss. Determination surely will help!
ReplyDeleteI am glad she was determined to leave the abyss. Determination surely will help!
ReplyDeleteOne of the dangers of loneliness is self-pity. If that danger can be overcome, then loneliness becomes a place to grow the soul, not a place to be feared and avoided.
ReplyDeleteA Long Loneliness
Nice line of thought here, Hank. She will, I know she will overcome.
ReplyDeleteLife is like that and the continuation of our human race depends upon her and our making it.
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Very good advice here! Not just in love life but everything. k.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully constructed haiku....Enjoyed reading it...
ReplyDeleteLonely girl
Interesting set of haiku that create a thought-provoking long poem.
ReplyDeleteNicely done ... wonderful series of haiku.
ReplyDeleteThe deep pit of depression sure does try to keep us in it. I'm glad she decided to climb out.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Dave, they could each stand as separate Haiku but, they all go so well together to make a good story.
Nice write Hank ;)
wow! provoking me... I really wanna go and soothe her now!
ReplyDeleteeach set is so well described!
great work Hank!
Beautifully stringed together.
ReplyDeleteThe pity pot is a lonely, miserable place to be indeed.
ReplyDeleteYeah down that deep dark hole
ReplyDeleteOne can either stay
Or make a goal
Getting out to see the sun again one day
Someone alone struggling with loneliness is such a sad image. You told the story very effectively.
ReplyDeleteWhat a picture of loneliness.. Great write, Hank ~
ReplyDelete"Innocence shredded"
ReplyDeleteseems to apply to both a man and a woman here, tho perhaps the man is gone after the first Haiku. Perhaps she has entered an abyss with his memory, but she has a chance, and I feel that in the last three Haiku I watch her decide to try to live on. It's hard and brittle, very few soft edges. I think loneliness must be like that.
I think this is a great topic ... but I'm not sure the haiku form does it the best service. With that said, you got a lot across using a very strict syllable count! Nice job on that :)
ReplyDeleteYeah I thought 4-5 separate writes then got to the bottom and read the note... def each stanza could stand alone :)
ReplyDeleteShe can't let loneliness keep her in the abyss...
ReplyDeleteThis is a really awesome poem :D It's great that you can write so many haikus that flawlessly flow together like that :D Fantastic! :D
ReplyDeleteI have a voice in my head that is constantly thinking in this same vein...lol. The starkness of the point and the reality of the issue are painted very vividly. Great work.
ReplyDeleteLoneliness can be endured, but guilt has to deal with the monster of regret. Surrender is the only way. Effective poem indeed Hank.
ReplyDelete