Saturday, April 28, 2012

Vampire

                                                         Le Vampire by Philip Burne-Jones
Image:  Courtesy of d'Verse

Like a piercing knife
Unflinchingly targetted
Gnawing at his neck

Mouth wide open, fangs
Stabbed deep and with a shrill cry
Withdrew fast, bleeding

The operation
Completed in a jiffy
The vampire snarled

The world at his feet
Surreptitiously engaged
Bloody and ready

Written for d'Verse Poetics -Vampire and Haiku Heights Day 29 #141

Borrowed the first line 'Like a piercing knife' from Charles Baudelaire's poem and developed from there
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15 comments:

  1. ClaudiaApril 29, 2012 at 12:29 AM

    ha...quite a task oriented vampire you're having here...ya know...i prefer the playful ones that take a bit more time...smiles

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  2. J Cosmo NewberyApril 29, 2012 at 2:20 AM

    Fangs! (You're welcome!)

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  3. Dave KingApril 29, 2012 at 2:42 AM

    These work very well, I think. Build up into a commendable poem.

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  4. SemaphoreApril 29, 2012 at 3:09 AM

    No excursions into the political, allegorical, or metaphorical here - you've presented a straight-up verse of the vampire mythos.

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  5. Brian MillerApril 29, 2012 at 5:28 AM

    lol...mission accomplished now he can get on with the rest of the night...smiles...

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  6. JJ Roa RodriguezApril 29, 2012 at 5:28 AM

    Nice write again Pare!..

    Pareng JJ

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  7. Pat HattApril 29, 2012 at 6:32 AM

    That vampire needs to be staked soon
    Or thrown into the sun at high noon

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  8. AnonymousApril 29, 2012 at 6:47 AM

    Locked and loaded! Or do they say unlocked and loaded! Ha! Fun poem. K.

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  9. henry clemmonsApril 29, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    Nothing worse than a vamp that's all biz, lol. Liked ur poem alot.

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  10. AnonymousApril 29, 2012 at 10:09 AM

    Vampire as consumer, always ready to devour. I enjoyed your linked senryu.

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  11. UnknownApril 29, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    Very precise, very succinct statement about that puncture that might come at any time! I just hope the next doctor I visit has their priorities correct. :)

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  12. UnknownApril 29, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Nice job. You really painted quite the picture here and love how you started with a Baudelaire line and then spawning your own from that. Very cool. Thanks

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  13. Frank WatsonApril 29, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    Very efficient vampire... looks like he has a lot of victims ahead :P

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  14. Myrna R.April 30, 2012 at 7:41 AM

    You went straight for the jugular here. What a ferocious, powerful, frightening monster you've described. Really nice job.

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  15. sheilaApril 30, 2012 at 8:21 PM

    very gory - perfect!

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