Thursday, January 3, 2013

A Wish lu

                                                                     Attribution: Brian Robert Mashall
Image: Peaceful Co-existence
Source: Licensed through Wikimedia Commons (here)

Make a wish
Fabric of imagination found wanting
Septic idle thoughts

Discard puerile attitude
Mind propelled source of strength
when wisely harnessed

Stimulant to wonders
Benefiting mankind to be expected
But detractors exist

Human conflicts, commercial
exploitation, family strife, robbery, murder
minimized or shackled

Greed and self-interest
Upset the equation, if only
Mankind is forgiving

Note: The above is  3-5-3 words Collum lune. The lune is also known as the American haiku in a 5-3-5 syllabic form or a 3-5-3 words form

Written for Sam's hosting at d'Verse Form For All: La Lune

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22 comments:

  1. Brian MillerJanuary 3, 2013 at 5:30 PM

    the first and the last are my favs...really great turns in these hank...upsetting the balance, yep...the septic thoughts idle is a great phrase as well...

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  2. Sabio LantzJanuary 3, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    Forgiveness is sooooo important. Well done Hank

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  3. CloudiaJanuary 3, 2013 at 5:40 PM

    much to absorb. . . .

    Aloha
    from Honolulu,
    Comfort Spiral
    ~ > < } } ( ° >
    > < } } ( ° >
    > < 3 3 3 ( ' >

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  4. LisaJanuary 3, 2013 at 5:44 PM

    Happy New Year Hank, may all your wishes come true!

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  5. ScarletJanuary 3, 2013 at 5:49 PM

    I like the turn to the last verse ~ That is a lovely wish for mankind ~

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  6. Pat HattJanuary 3, 2013 at 5:57 PM

    Sure is an upset to the balance with greed, if only all could help those in need.

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  7. marousiaJanuary 3, 2013 at 8:14 PM

    I agree with Brian - the first and last are my faves too

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  8. SemaphoreJanuary 3, 2013 at 8:30 PM

    How we all subscribe to the hopes in this poem! One can only dream that the new year will bring small steps to such change.

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  9. jasmine calyxJanuary 3, 2013 at 9:02 PM

    This is my favorite line: "Upset the equation, if only"

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  10. Amrit SinhaJanuary 3, 2013 at 9:20 PM

    "Greed and self-interest
    Upset the equation, if only
    Mankind is forgiving" - you summed it perfectly !!!

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  11. ClaudiaJanuary 3, 2013 at 11:42 PM

    Greed and self-interest
    Upset the equation...so true...and then the turn...well done hank

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  12. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2013 at 1:18 AM

    Some important thoughts recorded here Hank - and nicely done with the form too.

    If only each of us would start where we are, taking the first small steps with those closest to us. As the Scottish proverb goes; Mony a mickle maks a muckle.

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  13. Kathy ReedJanuary 4, 2013 at 4:11 AM

    sometimes we feel we are responsible more than we actually are...it's a heavy load...the discussion has begun but the action is far too slow.....;)

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  14. Laurie KolpJanuary 4, 2013 at 5:34 AM

    Great display, Hank... I especially like:


    Make a wish
    Fabric of imagination found wanting
    Septic idle thoughts

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  15. TigerbriteJanuary 4, 2013 at 7:23 AM

    Well done Hank. Mankind needs an open heart:)

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  16. UnknownJanuary 4, 2013 at 9:03 AM

    I am most impressed by the attitude displayed here. You acknowledge existence of the negative, yet offer perspective and action as choices. I like this very much.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/01/04/la-lune/

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  17. kelvin s.m.January 4, 2013 at 10:42 AM

    ...ah, lunes for everyone... hitting issues and providing a cure in which many find hard to sustain... great flowing of thoughts here... smiles...

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  18. dsJanuary 4, 2013 at 3:41 PM

    Idle thoughts are septic. Can mankind forgive greed and self-interest?
    Thank you for sharing these.

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  19. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2013 at 4:55 PM

    "septic idle thoughts"... what a killer line. loved what you did here - awesome turn in the end!

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  20. Sharp Little PencilJanuary 4, 2013 at 9:46 PM

    Hank, the last commenter beat me to it, but "septic idle thoughts" really does rock. Your whole view of the world is in tune with mine. Greed will sink us all, because we're in the same boat - it's a cruise ship, and all the "upper deck" types have all the possessions and gold... if we don't redistribute that "weight," we are bound to be swallowed up by the unknown. GREAT poem. Thanks also for welcoming me back to my blog. You're great. Amy

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  21. UnknownJanuary 4, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    really nice work here Hank. Each of these are very good, the first, second and fourth are my favorites here. Nicely done.

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  22. Dave KingJanuary 5, 2013 at 6:17 AM

    I agree Idle thought ARE septic, but putting that into a poem... that's magic!

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