Tilus: A Micro Poetry
A form created by Kelvin comprising
a syllable count of 6-3-1
1. Feelings get offended
Crying out
shouts!
2. Running in circles and
appeared lost
dope
3. Jilted and abandoned
Gritted teeth
lost
4, Great to be successful
Happiness
yay!
Gay's hosting at d'Verse: MTB - Tilus
nice play on emotions here hank... and it feels good to be successful - the only danger is when we connect our happiness with our success... i just wanna learn to be happy no matter what - ha - but that's something that is on my personal lessons to learn schedule...smiles
ReplyDeletei think the third one carres the most emotion with lost...
ReplyDeletebut i have been that dope too...smiles...
Ah, nicely done. If only we could always be that successful and quick at leaving the anger behind!
ReplyDeleteAnger has a way of taking over, doesn't it!
ReplyDeleteThe contrast between the joy and the dope creates so much tension
ReplyDeleteMany have followed the Kelvin form, which seemed limited to 4 stanzas/poems; but I had so much fun with it, I whipped out a dozen; it's all good, but your Tilus 3 was my fave.
ReplyDeleteI love this, though I would probably have put them in a different order (4/1/3/2) - don't listen to me though - I have a piece of paper that says I'm crazy so what do I know... *smile* But like I said, really love this beautiful and simple description of very strong emotions
ReplyDeleteNice use of the form.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you ended your series on a happy note, Hank.
ReplyDeleteAn upbeat ending - now that's good to see!
ReplyDeleteI like the turn from lost to yay ~ Good work on the form Hank ~
ReplyDeleteI like this poem. I relate a lot to the message behind this. Love it! :)
ReplyDeleteHank, I like the various moods you have written in this set. I think, because of the happiness, my favorite is your last. Smiles.
ReplyDeletecool spin on emotions
ReplyDeletesometimes it is the shout which is needed most...
ReplyDeleteI liked the flow of emotions the third one was a bit raw..I could feel it..well done Hank..
ReplyDeleteCan go from ticked off to yay as the emotions are at play
ReplyDeleteYour third one got to me. What an awful feeling. Very cool post, Hank.
ReplyDeleteAll the myriad feelings that make us.
ReplyDeleteIf one's successful to drive away anger and has control over self then will true happiness come...lovely tiluses. :)
ReplyDeleteIf one's successful to drive away anger and has control over self then will true happiness come...lovely tiluses. :)
ReplyDeleteI love how these are full of action.
ReplyDeleteYou veered away from the Nature poem, but to great effect. I like your interjections, which add real life, action and humour to the poems!
ReplyDeleteYou're a natural Hank... and as always your versatility to various forms shine through here. I enjoyed your tiluses, Thank you! smiles.
ReplyDeleteFeelings can run the gauntlet
ReplyDeleteLike 4 neat little seasons in 4 little poems.
ReplyDeleteHappiness and success is Spring to have a friend like Hank. Summertime's hot sun scorches skin and feelings, Autumn's jilted and abandoned trees, the leaves having abandoned ship. Winter seems un-ending to some.
Thank goodness it's always spring of friendship in the heart.
xoox
some times success and happiness are mutually exclusive - but here, they work just right
ReplyDeleteAH! I particularly liked the part about success and the build that takes us there. Nice.
ReplyDelete