Overcoming Adversity
On a sunny day all warm and bright
Having wrestled life’s woes by the night
To overcome the floods engulfing the edge
Of abundance shoving and throwing rays bright
Had fallen into dreams of yearnings’ nights
Restless, dark suddenly a future splayed bright
Bid be, good tidings played its softening lights
Had I the strength to ward off sinister’s might
Hank, we can ordinarily garner our strengths
Tenacity against adversity the star’s shining bright
Inspired by d'Verse Form For All Ghazal
(a first time attempt at Ghazal without really knowing on its form and rules)
you captured the daily struggle of overcoming adversity very nicely hank..and yep - it needs strength to ward off sinister’s might
ReplyDeleteVery nice ghazal full of hope...
ReplyDeleteLike these lines:
"Bid be, good tidings played its softening lights
Had I the strength to ward off sinister’s might"
Have a lovely day~
I find Ghazals difficult to write, but you inspire me to have a go once more. Excellently well done.
ReplyDeleteawww... its a beautiful Ghazal :) :)
ReplyDeletenicely crafted..!!!
You have a great blog... I am following and hope to see you around at http://madhulikaspeaks.blogspot.com/
Take care, stay connected and Happy Blogging..!!
you have played this well...i struggle with form as i am much more flow...you create well the trials within your words...
ReplyDeleteexpressed it so nicely my dear friend..
ReplyDeleteflow is amazing :)
loved it !!
Yet another variation and well done. I am eager to see what John has to say. He works a good deal so may take a while for him to stop by everyone, but his comments are very instructive. You used the rhyme instead of repeating the same word or phrase but I think it works quite well for you to unfold your struggle and search for hope. Thanks for writing and linking.
ReplyDeleteI love the word Tenacity and I loved your poem.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
Yvonne.
Hank, you capture the struggle well. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteReally well penned Ghazal and the message to endure lays to beautifully ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteI know of Ghazals since they sing them a lot in India. They are usually sad & melancholic.
ReplyDeleteYou capture the struggle then hope very well.
Pretty good first attempt!
Very nice... long live perseverance and determination!! A beautifully written Ghazal..
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the form!
ReplyDeleteHi, my feedback is based on these five factors starting from a traditional perspective but also looking at modern developments. I draw on Agha Shahid Ali's, chapter from An Exaltation of forms (Ed Finch and Varnes). This is a poem of his based on the traditional rules. http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/172051
ReplyDelete1) Association
One of the key factors of the form - traditional or modern is that the couplets need to be based as it were on variations on a theme. And stand alone as the order should not matter. This you have done.
2) Theme
The first couplet usually sets out the theme of the poem, which appears to be about finding the strength to endure, which is clearly a moden theme
3) Couplets
Nice set of couplets without enjambment. Some enjambment occurs in the modern forms but as the exception in the poem rather than the norm. You cleverly refer or hint at the narrator/writer in the last couplet/two lines.
4) Rhyme and refrain
In the classical tradition, the opening couplet would set the refrain and internal rhyme in the first and second line. Then in the rest of the couplets the refrain and internal rhyme would be on the second line. You have opted for a rhyming and varied refrain and no internal rhyme, which loses out on the emergy that the form can give you
5) Metre
Not to sure of the strategy here as the line count varied over the couplets.
In short, it had many classical features but also some modern adaption so well within the Ghazal range.