Friday, June 13, 2014

she gingerly peeps out!

                                                                                      Attribution: Aruna at ml.wiki
Image: Winter Melon flowers (here)

To revise Basho's haiku " the Flower of the Melon"
yube ni mo asa ni mo tsukazu uri no hana
(translation by R.H.Blyth)

it belongs
neither to morning nor to evening
the flower of the melon                  © Matsuo Basho
                                     
Playing hide and seek
When dressed for the kill beauty
in stunning yellow

Like a coy maiden
Only seen and not heard she
gingerly peeps out                         Hank’s

For Chev's CARPE DIEM revise that haiku #6
Posted by at

9 comments:

  1. Vandana SharmaJune 13, 2014 at 10:54 PM

    beautiful! the maiden is so shy:) only a rare chance to have her glimpse

    ReplyDelete
  2. ChèvrefeuilleJune 14, 2014 at 5:42 AM

    I love the comparison you have used Hank ... the hidden flowers of the melon with the shy girl ... nicely composed revision.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Pat HattJune 14, 2014 at 6:57 AM

    A little peep is enough to get one curious

    ReplyDelete
  4. Holy Ghost WriterJune 14, 2014 at 7:13 AM

    Nothing wrong with playing it coy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Alex J. CavanaughJune 14, 2014 at 9:10 AM

    Said it well and in fewer words, Hank. As good as the master.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Brian MillerJune 14, 2014 at 10:18 AM

    ah its the quiet ones that can be rather deadly
    when they finally speak....smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJune 14, 2014 at 2:17 PM

    Nicely done Hank :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. SandyCarlsonJune 14, 2014 at 7:12 PM

    Great rendition!

    ReplyDelete
  9. JulesJune 17, 2014 at 3:40 PM

    Ah, gifting the plant with human attributes!
    Fun.

    Thanks for your visit.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)