Friday, February 20, 2015

extending his reach mindful not to miss

                                                                                            Photo Attribution: Francis
Image: Castle of Burg Eltz (here)

Real Toads: given words:
miss / remiss
deem / redeem
wager / dowager
pulse / repulse
file / defile
peat / repeat
sent / absent

Shakespearean sonnet structure:
abab, cdcd, efef, gg

extending his reach mindful not to miss
wayward persistence taken to have deemed
languid in form struggling much in remiss
strong resolve to take it through to redeem

in his mind fair bunkum of a wager
in a sinister way to test the pulse
to invoke strength of lady dowager
careful not to trigger off a repulse

they might just come in droves in single file
across meadows moors marshes and peat
to unwittingly get themselves defiled
happily even going for repeats

but the hand of Providence was God-sent
demise at night was why he was absent

Note: Conveniently combining the Get Listed list
at Real Toads and writing in a Shakespearean sonnet
form with the volta 

For Bjorn's hosting at d'Verse MTB - twist and shout
and grapeling's at Feb's Get Listed at Real Toads
Posted by at

20 comments:

  1. Brian MillerFebruary 20, 2015 at 4:12 AM

    interesting....i guess the hand on god was smiling on the many that day...
    protecting them from him going forward....took me a bit to decipher this as you use some interesting language

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  2. The CrankyFebruary 20, 2015 at 5:02 AM

    For the same reason birds must sing,
    You create the poetry amazing.

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  3. Rosemary Nissen-WadeFebruary 20, 2015 at 5:36 AM

    It works — you didn't need to tell us where it is! :)

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  4. WolfsrosebudFebruary 20, 2015 at 6:13 AM

    I liked the visuals this brought to the surface:

    "they might just come in droves in single file
    across meadows moors marshes and peat
    to unwittingly get themselves defiled
    happily even going for repeats"

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  5. Pat HattFebruary 20, 2015 at 7:06 AM

    Must be happy if they go for repeats haha

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  6. BeachannyFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:33 AM

    Covert planning and sinister deeds are hinted at...has a feeling of drama throughout - sounds old, feels modern as it is not in meter rather in syllable count. The rhyme scheme is true and it definitely backfires and changes direction at the end. You probably killed two birds at least with this poem. Kudos.

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  7. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2015 at 9:53 AM

    I liked the turn towards the ending in the couplet. That is such an interesting read. There is a mixture of the thrill of a new discovery and theresultant disappointment in your words.
    I really liked it.
    -HA

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  8. ClaudiaFebruary 20, 2015 at 10:31 AM

    sounds like he was out of the scene just at the right time

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  9. nashvillecats2February 20, 2015 at 11:22 AM

    Great post Hank, you used the words well.

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  10. brudbergFebruary 20, 2015 at 11:54 AM

    To weave it in so well with that volta cleverly giving the end of the story .. like a sinister twist in narrative.. :-)

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  11. UnknownFebruary 20, 2015 at 2:16 PM

    absent he should be... I like how this flows - kudos for using the listed words AND writing a sonnet - aced the prompt

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  12. GraceFebruary 20, 2015 at 2:56 PM

    Well that explains it ~ probably for the best ~

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  13. Optimistic ExistentialistFebruary 20, 2015 at 3:07 PM

    Hank your poetry blows my mind every single time.

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  14. MaryFebruary 20, 2015 at 3:46 PM

    You've provided an explanation...and that is good! Smiles.

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  15. dsFebruary 20, 2015 at 8:18 PM

    Wow. There's a lot to process here. For some reason, I am thinking of the story behind the story of Sheherezade (which is probably way off the mark).

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    Replies
    1. kaykualaFebruary 21, 2015 at 1:58 AM

      Scheherazade the legendary Arabic queen and the storyteller of One Thousand and One Nights. She eloquently told a story per night to the King who spared her life at the end of 1001 nights and married her. Perhaps ds a little! Thanks!

      Hank

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  16. grapelingFebruary 21, 2015 at 1:03 AM

    really a brilliant turn, Hank. I'm glad you added your voice ~

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  17. C.S.HFebruary 21, 2015 at 6:17 AM

    You did it!! You definitely pulled a Shakespeare! :) I need to borrow your brain sometimes! ;)

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  18. MargaretFebruary 21, 2015 at 2:24 PM

    "across meadows moors marshes and peat" … that's just really fun to say!

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  19. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2015 at 7:50 AM

    So descriptive, I was watching the scene play before me.

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