Moonlight (1836-1893) public domain
Choice of the Masterpiece
Hank picked the above as it gives a perfect perspective effect. It is akin
to standing in the middle of a railway track which appears to meet at the top.
It provides a depth effect
A straight and lonely street
Late at night accentuating the creeps
The moon shy in emitting light
Lingering smokescreen of long misty nights
Phantoms real or imagined
Following not far behind it would seem
The feeling when walking alone
Still far from home
Loose pebbles on the ground
Being kicked the only sound
Setting eerily in motion
With wild imaginations
Words and names could not describe
Like water gurgling out a broken pipe
Trudging along and not a treat
Walking slowly with heavy feet
Sanaa at d'Verse Poetics – Through the eyes
of John Atkinson Grimshaw
I love this - you put me directly into the shoes of someone experiencing a chilling late-night walk.🙌
ReplyDeleteYour detailed focus in this poem is really refreshing
ReplyDelete"Loose pebbles on the ground"
Much love
I like the use of perspective and where you went with your poetic vision. I sometimes walk at night to clear my head. In the silence the imagination does seem to run wild with the darkness.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully done, Hank! I love; "Lingering smokescreen of long misty nights."
ReplyDeleteI felt myself walking alone on that ‘straight and lonely street’, Hank, and feeling the creeps, looking closely at the ‘lingering smokescreen of long misty nights’ and hearing ‘phantoms real or imagined’. I love the use of sound in ‘loose pebbles on the ground being kicked’.
ReplyDeleteI feel that it would take a huge effort to walk like that and not be tempted to running....
ReplyDeleteLove this poem, Hank! I esp liked, "Words and names could not describe
ReplyDeleteLike water gurgling out a broken pipe" Such a good verb to describe that sound! 💙
Very nicely done! I liked the image of the water gurgling out of the pipe!
ReplyDeleteNice atmospheric write Hank, though I feel the rhymes, where applied, are getting in the way and take me out of the tension you are trying to build. But that's just me.
ReplyDeleteHank adjusted the last 2 lines. This should make it more forgiving to make the rhyming in line with the general trend of the poem. Thanks shaun!
DeleteI love the idea of the whirling pipe of thought - an atmospheric poem - Jae
ReplyDeleteLove this perspective, Hank! A very atmospheric write.
ReplyDeleteVery nice, Hank !!!
ReplyDeleteAs an ekphrastic, this is nonpareil, Hank, so perfectly descriptive of feeling and thought, as in
ReplyDelete"With wild imaginations
Words and names could not describe
Like water gurgling out a broken pipe"