Friday, August 30, 2013

'swing of the gate'

Just the cellar pit
only the catbird recalls
the swing of the gate
All others will not bother
Such trivial matters can wait

Just the cellar pit
only the catbird recalls
the swing of the gate
Savior to those caught napping
from foolishly tempting fate

Note:  It comprised a Mabson Southard’s haiku of 5-7-5
syllables (in italics) and we are to complete it with 2 lines
of  7-7 syllables for a Tan Renga

of Southard’s ‘the swing of the gate’ haiku

11 comments:

  1. "Savior to those caught napping
    from foolishly tempting fate"

    A very fitting ending to a short and beautiful poem. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  2. ha. cool. i esp like the second one, its got just a bit of edge....

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  3. i enjoyed both your haiku endings.

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  4. I love where your second ending took me!

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  5. What a nice completion of the Tan Renga by Mabson Southard that second [...] Savior to those caught napping / from foolishly tempting fate [...] is my favorite. Although I like the first too. Thank you Hank for your respons on this Tan Renga Challenge.

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  6. I like both of your 7-7 and thank you for braving the challenge with feeling in each

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  7. Don't want to be caught like that, at my mat

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  8. Ah that second one is great...

    The first one has that humor in it that almost make it a renku

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