Sunday, September 2, 2012

Loneliness


Picture Source: Public Domain Pictures.net (here)
(Royalty free stock photos. All pictures are free for commercial and personal use)

Innocence shredded
Petrified of his shadows
Pangs of loneliness

Affected her health
Hair disheveled dress crumpled
His memory lingered

Winsome beau revered
Marauding thoughts ran wildly
Struck a vital chord

Guilt pervaded her mind
If only she brought herself
out of the abyss

She would overcome
Her resolve was determined
No more self pity 

Written for Haiku Heights Day 03 Sept Heights - loneliness- and Open Link Monday at Real Toads

33 comments:

  1. http://www.vatinam.net
    Invite you to visit my blog and leave comments of yourselves
    Sincerely

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  2. The struggle is mighty and so impossible all alone. The last stanza can happen if she reaches out. Made me hope she does.

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  3. I'm always so impressed with a poem built out of haiku.

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  4. I can relate with that...too close to home sometimes...

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  5. The stanzas merge well together !!!

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  6. These work either individually or as a whole.

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  7. Self-pity can be a murderous weapon! Delightful set of haiku!

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  8. at some point you have to draw that line in the sand and break out...its not always easy...but it does take intention

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  9. I am glad she was determined to leave the abyss. Determination surely will help!

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  10. I am glad she was determined to leave the abyss. Determination surely will help!

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  11. One of the dangers of loneliness is self-pity. If that danger can be overcome, then loneliness becomes a place to grow the soul, not a place to be feared and avoided.

    A Long Loneliness

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  12. Nice line of thought here, Hank. She will, I know she will overcome.

    Life is like that and the continuation of our human race depends upon her and our making it.
    ..

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  13. Very good advice here! Not just in love life but everything. k.

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  14. Beautifully constructed haiku....Enjoyed reading it...
    Lonely girl

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  15. Interesting set of haiku that create a thought-provoking long poem.

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  16. Nicely done ... wonderful series of haiku.

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  17. The deep pit of depression sure does try to keep us in it. I'm glad she decided to climb out.
    I agree with Dave, they could each stand as separate Haiku but, they all go so well together to make a good story.
    Nice write Hank ;)

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  18. wow! provoking me... I really wanna go and soothe her now!

    each set is so well described!

    great work Hank!

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  19. Beautifully stringed together.

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  20. The pity pot is a lonely, miserable place to be indeed.

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  21. Yeah down that deep dark hole
    One can either stay
    Or make a goal
    Getting out to see the sun again one day

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  22. Someone alone struggling with loneliness is such a sad image. You told the story very effectively.

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  23. What a picture of loneliness.. Great write, Hank ~

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  24. "Innocence shredded"
    seems to apply to both a man and a woman here, tho perhaps the man is gone after the first Haiku. Perhaps she has entered an abyss with his memory, but she has a chance, and I feel that in the last three Haiku I watch her decide to try to live on. It's hard and brittle, very few soft edges. I think loneliness must be like that.

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  25. I think this is a great topic ... but I'm not sure the haiku form does it the best service. With that said, you got a lot across using a very strict syllable count! Nice job on that :)

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  26. Yeah I thought 4-5 separate writes then got to the bottom and read the note... def each stanza could stand alone :)

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  27. She can't let loneliness keep her in the abyss...

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  28. This is a really awesome poem :D It's great that you can write so many haikus that flawlessly flow together like that :D Fantastic! :D

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  29. I have a voice in my head that is constantly thinking in this same vein...lol. The starkness of the point and the reality of the issue are painted very vividly. Great work.

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  30. Loneliness can be endured, but guilt has to deal with the monster of regret. Surrender is the only way. Effective poem indeed Hank.

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