Sunday, September 2, 2012

A Rebel

(just a fictitious/fictional dialogue)

Ain’t no good
Failed us again!
But it is so against what I stand for
Look! You either shape up or you ship out
No! You make me
Get him out!
Teach him!

Note: Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count 
I’ve chosen to write a Double Tetractys of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1

Written for Stu's Poetics: The Art of Rebellion at d'Verse and Poets United's Poetry Pantry #113


  1. oh dang - everyone's talking about how good diversity is and how important and enriching different views on life are...but practically all too often it's fought and not tolerated...sad

  2. Heaps of dramatic grunt in this poem! The ideas so suit the form and the form suits the ideas!

  3. Strong words, Hank. Strong poem. I felt this one down deep.

  4. So who won in the end? (Not that it matters.)

  5. GREAT it...its funny isn't we always kill the people who challenge... like the punk in this poem.....i guess by shutting people up, it keeps things niiiicceee and thought needed....this was VERY cool- thank you for writing and sharing

  6. nice tight little verse hank, capturing just the essence of the scene and letting us fill in the rest....feels familiar.....

  7. Oh definitely a rebel! Shape up or ship out... seen and said that

  8. The sad truth of life, shape up or ship out ~ I like the brevity of the form ~

  9. haha make me is words all used once in a while
    Like the back and forth style

  10. Nicely done! I don't know if I could have done this--

  11. I really like what you wrote and that you followed a particular form. The dialogue is short, but does convey that conflict is too often the center of communication.