Thursday, July 31, 2014

Gone by the Old Yellow road - a paradelle

                                                                                          Attribution: Bob Jenkins
Image: Yellow Brick Road (here)

The paradelle is a 4-stanza poem, where each stanza consists of 6 lines.
For the first 3 stanzas, the 1st and 2nd lines should be the same; 
the 3rd and 4th lines should also be the same; and the 5th and 6th 
lines should be composed of all the words from the 1st and 3rd lines
 and only the words from the 1st and 3rd lines.

The final stanza should be composed of all the words in the 5th and 
6th lines of the first three stanzas and only the words from the 5th 
and 6th lines of the first three stanzas  -  Brian

going for a short summer’s holiday
going for a short summer’s holiday
it had been a hard day’s night working late
it had been a hard day’s night working late
a short summer’s holiday it had been
going for a hard day’s night working late

but I left my heart in San Francisco
but I left my heart in San Francisco
beautiful flower children were on high then
beautiful flower children were on high then
my heart in San Francisco on high but
flower children were beautiful then I left

by the time I got to Phoenix she was gone
by the time I got to Phoenix she was gone
then I took the Old Yellow road alone
then I took the Old Yellow road alone
she was gone by the Old Yellow road
I got to Phoenix I then took time alone

my heart in San Francisco on high but
a short summer’s holiday it had been
she was gone by the Old Yellow road
going for a hard day’s night working late
I got to Phoenix I then took time alone
flower children were beautiful then I left

Note: Hank was at a loss starting out. Remembering 
some song titles and lyrics saved the day. Hopefully 
this is acceptable as all rules are adhered to

For Brian's hosting at d' Verse MTB where one is 
challenged to try composing a -  paradelle

20 comments:

  1. it is more than acceptible...you made it work..i got a few of the song titles but it does not overwhelm it...you tell a compelling story of following her...your 5/6 lines on the first 3 stanzas i thought came out real well considering the form...well played sir.

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    1. Thanks Brian, you did it all for us! Going around in circles trying but it was fun

      Hank

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  2. Nice job indeed, made it work and a good story to boot

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  3. I could NEVER do that! Wow


    ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^= . <3 . >< } } (°>

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  4. Good job, Hank. I enjoyed the references to old songs.....

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  5. Excellent Hank. I think this form is better suited to song than spoken poetry actually. In song the repetition works I think. The song titles fit well.

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  6. so well done Hank...i love the beautifully sad feel to it...

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  7. If the one you are searching for eludes you, I suppose you will take time alone. Nice take on the prompt.

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  8. What a great idea to use the song lines. This one really works!

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  9. Good one Hank.Makes as much sense as all the ones I have read. Great fun play with words.

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  10. Well, you did make it flow like a song in addition to using song titles. Well done.

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  11. I like the idea you came up for this, Hank. Song titles worked amazingly well for the paradelle form.

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  12. Wow. You wrote something so nice out of song titles and in spite of the restrictions imposed by the paradelle. This was great Hank. I really liked it.

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  13. Great way to combine it with found poetry with the titles of song too... Love the heart on high.

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  14. Smiles. You made it there years before I did.

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  15. oh...quite acceptable. you delivered quite an enjoyable story...though a touch sad...the form flows nicely.

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