Monday, December 9, 2013

Dastardly Delinquent - A Huitain

                                                                      Attribution: Wieke de Rijk
Image: Ferocity in the Eyes
Source: Wikimedia Commons (here)

The original huitain is a single verse, eight line poem with eight 
syllables per line. The rhyme scheme is a b a b b c b c. When 
it was adapted in English, the same rhyme scheme was retained 
but 10 or 8 syllables were used per line. There was no alternation 
between the syllable count. The huitain was all of 10 or all of 8 syllables

I’ve chosen to do the 10 syllable count. And I also tried to be a 
little naughty by employing alliterations with  letters d and b

a           dreaded dreary disorientated
b           definitely dastardly delinquent
a           dislodged dismantled and dissipated
b           dwindled to defenseless delirium
b           but balanced boldness brought benevolence
c           besieged bondage but bizarre bravado
b           began to beat and bash those beholden
c           brutal beastly barrage like a bronco

Note: The above revolved around a delinquent
Tom cat that was ill-treated but later fought back

Written for d'Verse OpenLinkNight week 126


  1. Very powerful words used and the impact ids powerful too. Compliments the picture of the Big Cat.

  2. ha. nice....the allot makes it pretty slippery....i like how it creates a natural turn though between the b's and the d's....and goes from shadow to light....

  3. Te b and d swap was great. The cat sure could make it ones fate

  4. That cat looks like he could be ready for it all

  5. Ha! Fun alliteration. Great play of words. :-)

  6. What an interesting form, Hank. You have really explored the eyes of that cat well, Hank! Ferocious indeed.

  7. Nice alliterations Hank ~ What a challenge ~

  8. Nice alliterations Hank ~ What a challenge ~

  9. I read the poem out loud, & the alliteration ( which I employ a lot) really pumps up each line, and the rhyme scheme had excellent choices of uncommon rhyme words;
    nice job, Hank.

  10. Nice Hank! This poem is a wonderful example of why I love alliteration. I also want to try a haibun now. I haven't tried to comment on any WordPress blogs yet. I'll let you know if I'm having trouble too.

  11. Ouch! Funny how I never thought the "B" was softer than a "D" until reading them in this poem. Frightfully clever. Your cat is much more moody and delinquent than mine is.

  12. Sorry English is my 3rd language, so here we go -

    Donc une déclaration dead beat
    Délivrant un démélé délicieux
    Et bien, c’est du bon boulot!
    Avec un badinage basculant!

    I think you speak French, no?

    1. Therefore a statement, dead beat
      Issuing it goes along delicious and well
      it is a good job!
      With a tilting banter!

      No, I don't Ma'am. But I get the idea with the help of google translate as given above.


  13. I'm not familiar with the form but, I enjoyed your poem..

  14. Very impressive. I love the alliteration!

    I do wish Blogger and WordPress would play well together. :-(

  15. The flip between the b words and d words adds to the feel of the poem. Nicely done.

  16. Powerful huitain in alliterated sounds, well done.
    Some creatures become delinquents to fight back violence, poor cat!

  17. What a good job you did with this. It's very clever. You're quite brave to write something so true to form. I've never had the courage to try something like this. Maybe I will sometime though.

  18. haha... that is fun... and i have a knot in my tongue now you know...from trying to pronounce it....smiles

  19. Clever stuff Hank. Glad puss fought back.
    Anna :o]

  20. glad he was able to stand up for himself… poor kitty.

  21. Wow, Hank That's quite an exercise in both form and alliteration. Good job.