Oh, Hank, you're getting SO close with your limericks. And they have good messages. But you have to carefully count the number of beats (or syllables) to a line. Eight is a good number for the first two lines, plus the last line, and four, five or even six for the second couplet. I now have a dear friend named Hank (8) His determination I thank (8) A lim'rick he'll write (5) But not count it right (5) So he's not yet in the top rank (8) Keep it up, my friend, because I can see you enjoy writing them, and soon they'll become second nature to you. All the best, K
Thank you for linking and writing. I have trouble with this counting thing too. Sometimes they feel right without being quite right for me. It's probably best as Madeleine said in the article to clap to the stressed beats after you write one and see if you have enough to the line, the unstressed will take care of themselves. This was a fine attempt. Yay!
Kay Ma'am, I took your lead given previously by reducing the no.of words for a start. That I thought would take care of the syllables, but just.I didn't count them that's why! Would have to write more limericks after this. Have to bid for the top rank, certainly.
But regarding the discussion about counting syllables per line, DON'T! The articles that tell you to count syllables per line are over-simplifying and misleading you. The key is in the stressed and unstressed syllables, as I said in my article. You can have the so-called right number of syllables in a line, but if the stresses are in the wrong place, the meter will still be off.
Madeleine Ma'am. Gosh! All these while I made it such that I felt nice when I re-read the limerick that I created. It appears to be that technical going by your article. Would have to go back and understand better the stresses and meters. Thanks a lot,Ma'am!
Oh, Hank, you're getting SO close with your limericks. And they have good messages.
ReplyDeleteBut you have to carefully count the number of beats (or syllables) to a line. Eight is a good number for the first two lines, plus the last line, and four, five or even six for the second couplet.
I now have a dear friend named Hank (8)
His determination I thank (8)
A lim'rick he'll write (5)
But not count it right (5)
So he's not yet in the top rank (8)
Keep it up, my friend, because I can see you enjoy writing them, and soon they'll become second nature to you.
All the best,
K
The limericks of yesterday were fate
ReplyDeleteWe peaked a bit then opened the gate
Oh what fun
To escape the hum drum
Without us putting on weight
Thank you for linking and writing. I have trouble with this counting thing too. Sometimes they feel right without being quite right for me. It's probably best as Madeleine said in the article to clap to the stressed beats after you write one and see if you have enough to the line, the unstressed will take care of themselves. This was a fine attempt. Yay!
ReplyDeleteThe limerick's so hard to scan.
ReplyDeleteI'm quite sympathetic, I am;
But when you get it right
It can go on all night,
And that form will be yours to command.
ha i write to provoke and tease as well when i write...nice use of obviate as well...
ReplyDeleteKay Ma'am,
ReplyDeleteI took your lead given previously by reducing the no.of words for a start. That I thought would take care of the syllables, but just.I didn't count them that's why! Would have to write more limericks after this. Have to bid for the top rank, certainly.
Thanks,Kay,for taking the time!
Hank
Oh yes provoking is quite fun and it just must be done!
ReplyDeleteFun verse, Kaykuala!
ReplyDeleteBut regarding the discussion about counting syllables per line, DON'T! The articles that tell you to count syllables per line are over-simplifying and misleading you. The key is in the stressed and unstressed syllables, as I said in my article. You can have the so-called right number of syllables in a line, but if the stresses are in the wrong place, the meter will still be off.
ha nice...writing to provoke and get the people thinking is a good thing i think..smiles
ReplyDeleteMadeleine Ma'am.
ReplyDeleteGosh! All these while I made it such that I felt nice when I re-read the limerick that I created. It appears to be that technical going by your article. Would have to go back and understand better the stresses and meters.
Thanks a lot,Ma'am!
Hank
stress and meter often baffle me. It gets better with practice, though I may never perfect it, and that's ok. Enjoyed this one Hank.
ReplyDeleteVery clever!
ReplyDeleteIt's a fun write, anyway, Hank! And very close to the correct scansion.
ReplyDeleteI like to count stresses thus: ./././ with dots fir unstressed, slashes for stressed syllables. So yours goes:
./../../
./../././
.//
.././
/.././
Now you can see where it doesn't work. :)
(I also count stresses on my fingers, one finger per each heavy beat. I think a lot of us do that!)
Rosemary,that's wonderful! Now it is much clearer when graphically shown.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Ma'am!
Hank
Great limerick, Hank. Sorry about the late visit, I am swamped with work.
ReplyDeletePamela
Great job! We are all trying to do exactly what your poem describes. K.
ReplyDeleteTop write. Congrats.
ReplyDeletehappy saturday hank!
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian,same to you!
ReplyDeleteHank
so, did it work, did you provoke fate with your limerick? were there consequences?
ReplyDeletecricket senryu
Clever..!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully crafted :)
Happy Sunday :)