Tuesday, May 19, 2015

seen better days!

                                                                                                 Attribution: Zvaella
Image: Red - Courtesy of MLMM (here)

A Ninette
"The Ninette is a form that uses nine lines.
Each line increases by one syllable until the
middle line, (five syllables) after which the
syllable count in the lines following goes
back down from four to one. The first and
last words of this poem can be 1) the same
2) antonyms or 3) synonyms"  -  Vandana

red
a pair
discarded
seen better days
not the way to treat 
had to be mean?
just not fair
seeing
red

Note: Credit to Vandana who used this
form (here) and Hank took a liking for it

For MLMM's Photo Challenge #61 and
Kerry's at Real Toad's Tuesday Platform

20 comments:

  1. Hank, I like the form I may have to try it out and those red shoes look a bit tired. I do love a pair of red shoes though and bought myself a pair of red heels.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's my first time seeing this form, and I love how you've introduced it to me. I think the pauses created by the structure work wonderfully when describing the shoes. It plants the the color red in the mind, and after we learn that the shoes could look better, we are still left with red. I like it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Seeing red can sure leave one busting things up. Shoes are rather worn indeed

    ReplyDelete
  4. Seeing red! I guess more was discarded then the shoes! Very neat.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is a very stylish description, linked to emotive response.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is such a stylish new form :D you have carried it out splendidly!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like the way it builds and then tapers down, keeping red at the center and using it in more than one way.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cool use of the form, and the photo. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very clever Hank

    mindlovemisery

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh! you have so beautifully expressed the plight of little red shoes, once they must have adorned a little girl's little feet.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like how you have changed the meaning of red.. the perspective of the shoes is great.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You did good by the form, Hank. Nice getting to switch meanings, too. If purely descriptive you soon run out of things to say about shoes, red or not.
    ..

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh yes, a shame to see them so discarded.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nice! Might have to try that one, so sparse. I like those shoes!

    ReplyDelete
  15. a fun write, this Ninette form i find similar to the Diamente [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9eyNB99fL8]

    much love...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh wow!! That's so awesome what you did here and by the way, red is lovely!

    ReplyDelete