Friday, February 20, 2015

extending his reach mindful not to miss

                                                                                            Photo Attribution: Francis
Image: Castle of Burg Eltz (here)

Real Toads: given words:
miss / remiss
deem / redeem
wager / dowager
pulse / repulse
file / defile
peat / repeat
sent / absent

Shakespearean sonnet structure:
abab, cdcd, efef, gg

extending his reach mindful not to miss
wayward persistence taken to have deemed
languid in form struggling much in remiss
strong resolve to take it through to redeem

in his mind fair bunkum of a wager
in a sinister way to test the pulse
to invoke strength of lady dowager
careful not to trigger off a repulse

they might just come in droves in single file
across meadows moors marshes and peat
to unwittingly get themselves defiled
happily even going for repeats

but the hand of Providence was God-sent
demise at night was why he was absent

Note: Conveniently combining the Get Listed list
at Real Toads and writing in a Shakespearean sonnet
form with the volta 

For Bjorn's hosting at d'Verse MTB - twist and shout
and grapeling's at Feb's Get Listed at Real Toads


  1. interesting....i guess the hand on god was smiling on the many that day...
    protecting them from him going forward....took me a bit to decipher this as you use some interesting language

  2. For the same reason birds must sing,
    You create the poetry amazing.

  3. It works — you didn't need to tell us where it is! :)

  4. I liked the visuals this brought to the surface:

    "they might just come in droves in single file
    across meadows moors marshes and peat
    to unwittingly get themselves defiled
    happily even going for repeats"

  5. Must be happy if they go for repeats haha

  6. Covert planning and sinister deeds are hinted at...has a feeling of drama throughout - sounds old, feels modern as it is not in meter rather in syllable count. The rhyme scheme is true and it definitely backfires and changes direction at the end. You probably killed two birds at least with this poem. Kudos.

  7. I liked the turn towards the ending in the couplet. That is such an interesting read. There is a mixture of the thrill of a new discovery and theresultant disappointment in your words.
    I really liked it.

  8. sounds like he was out of the scene just at the right time

  9. Great post Hank, you used the words well.

  10. To weave it in so well with that volta cleverly giving the end of the story .. like a sinister twist in narrative.. :-)

  11. absent he should be... I like how this flows - kudos for using the listed words AND writing a sonnet - aced the prompt

  12. Well that explains it ~ probably for the best ~

  13. Hank your poetry blows my mind every single time.

  14. You've provided an explanation...and that is good! Smiles.

  15. Wow. There's a lot to process here. For some reason, I am thinking of the story behind the story of Sheherezade (which is probably way off the mark).

    1. Scheherazade the legendary Arabic queen and the storyteller of One Thousand and One Nights. She eloquently told a story per night to the King who spared her life at the end of 1001 nights and married her. Perhaps ds a little! Thanks!


  16. really a brilliant turn, Hank. I'm glad you added your voice ~

  17. You did it!! You definitely pulled a Shakespeare! :) I need to borrow your brain sometimes! ;)

  18. "across meadows moors marshes and peat" … that's just really fun to say!

  19. So descriptive, I was watching the scene play before me.