Saturday, December 17, 2011

Rain

                                                                    Image by Tera Zajack

What could be the Matter?

Crying in the rain
What could have been the matter?
I tried to persuade her
Not to venture out
Not in this weather
It was intermittent
now it's a downpour
She  could have at least
taken precautions
An umbrella for one
and shoes, yes shoes
Those cobblestones
could be hurting

Hasty decisions
could come back to haunt her
She could have waited
He sent a  text otw, yes 'on the way'
She could have waited

‘Get into my car
I’ll take you back!’

‘But your car will be all wet
in the inside’

‘Never mind just hop in
get into warm clothes’

‘But I like this red colored dress’

‘Don’t worry,  Janet’s favorite is red
You have a lot to choose from
just get into the car
and we'll be on your way
That’s the least I could do’

‘Ok, I’ll get into your car!
Is Janet in the house?’

‘Yes, waiting for you!’

You think she minds?

‘My wife is ok!’ You'll bring it back next time you're here

‘ Danke!’

‘Asterblief'


Submitted for d'Verse - Poetics Out the Sketchbook

17 comments:

  1. Well if it's a warm rain not so bad
    Who cares if the car gets wet a tad
    And nice with the otw explanation too
    You might confuse some with just the acronym, sad but true..haha

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  2. intersting scene hank...there seems to be an undertone of something else here as well...hasty decisions, emotional decisions def not always the best...

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  3. I think that there is a greater story beneath. Yes, sometimes people could have waited, probably should have waited. And I do wonder sometimes why everyone is in such a hurry. Strong write, Hank.

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  4. Hank, you know me. I don't trust the guy at all. If I were the girl, I would have run home. Good writing, and it leaves lingering questions, which intrigues the reader even more! Amy

    And now for snarky politics!
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/anthemforanewparty/

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  5. this is like a magpie tale.
    very haunting and deep story.

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  6. Interesting story. So much one could read between the line I assume

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  7. I like it Hank. Hasty decisions may lead us astray. I am glad he can help her.
    Happy weekend ~

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  8. an interesting take on it hank..the hasty decisions..the rain..the rescue..is it a rescue..? sometimes it's better to stay out in the rain..

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  9. A touch or two of most things in this, including humour. A real tour de force. Well done.

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  10. I like that this piece poses so many intriguing questions and paints such a vibrant tale... lovely write!

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  11. two such nice people, the one who wants to give her the ride, and she not wanting to get the car wet

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  12. I like all the relationships and intricacy here at the end, contrasting with the lonely figure at the beginning. Great informal feel, too, Hank, as if we're watching it all happen.

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  13. Great story woven. Lingering questions afterwards but curiosity defines the world. Loved it.

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  14. wat a beautiful story u said with those words...
    very interestingly u started it :)

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